Why You Might Be Here
Life’s working. You’ve built a career, family, and responsibilities.
But your drinking doesn’t feel like a choice anymore.
You’re not looking to quit forever or punish yourself.
You just want to understand why alcohol pulls you back in and how to regain a sense of control.
This isn’t about willpower.
It’s about clarity, insight, and choice.
The Guide - When your drinking stops making sense
I put together the "When your drinking stops making sense" guide as a calmer, introductory way to think about alcohol.
It’s designed to help you step back and gain perspective on alcohol and your relationship with it, without shame, judgement or pressure.
Topics covered include:
-
Why willpower alone rarely works
-
How mixed messages about drinking quietly create confusion
-
The subtle costs that often go unnoticed
-
A simple framework for making sense of your own experience
-
How trust in yourself gets eroded and how it can be rebuilt
No promises.
No outcomes.
No expectations.
Just clarity and perspective from a Coach with lived experience.
My Approach
I came to this work because alcohol stopped making sense in my own life.
Not because everything was falling apart but because, over time, the effort it took to manage drinking no longer matched what it gave back.
What finally changed things for me wasn’t more discipline or stricter rules.
It was understanding how alcohol actually works and giving myself permission to think clearly instead of constantly negotiating with myself.
That same understanding now shapes the way I work with men.
-
Understanding what’s driving your drinking
-
Gaining clarity on the internal belief system that binds us to alcohol
-
Retraining responses to urges
-
Supporting your first proper break from alcohol calmly and confidently, if and when that's useful
I am a Certified This Naked Mind Coach (since 2022) with Affective Liminal Psychology (ALP) training to complement my coaching.
If you want clarity, control, and freedom around alcohol, start with the free guide.
And when you’re ready, you can schedule a no-obligation call to explore how coaching might support you.
about you
You might recognise some of these thoughts, maybe not all of them.
At some point, they were mine too.
You’re functioning.
Life looks fine on the outside.
But alcohol doesn’t quite feel neutral anymore.
Maybe you’ve wondered:
-
Why one or two often turns into more
-
Why alcohol feels like it helps and then makes things worse
-
Why moderation seems simple in theory, but harder in practice
-
Why the mental back-and-forth around drinking feels exhausting
You may have caught yourself thinking:
“If only I could just drink normally.”
You’re not alone in that.
Many men reach a point where alcohol starts to feel:
-
More important than they want it to be
-
Less rewarding than it used to be
-
Out of alignment with the life they’re building
At the same time, the idea of not drinking can bring up real fears:
-
Losing connection
-
Missing out
-
Life becoming dull or restrictive
So the mind stays stuck between two competing ideas:
Wanting change and yet, not wanting to give anything up.
That tension doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.
It means you’re paying attention.
-
You don’t need to label yourself.
-
You don’t need to hit a rock bottom.
-
And you don’t need to decide anything today.
Sometimes the most useful questions aren’t:
“Is my drinking bad enough?”
But:
-
“Is this still working for me?”
-
“Would I feel better if alcohol played a smaller role?”
That’s the space this work is designed for a calmer, more thoughtful way to understand your relationship with alcohol, without pressure or extremes.
If you’re curious, you’re in the right place.
About me
I didn’t come to this work because alcohol ruined my life.
I came to it because, over time, alcohol stopped making sense.
Like many men, I built a full functional life, had multiple careers, lots of responsibility, many achievements and all the while alcohol played a consistent role in the background.
Sometimes helpful.
Often times not.
Nearly always unquestioned.
For years, decades actually, I tried different ways of changing my drinking.
Some worked for a while.
They relied on effort, discipline, rules, or just plain white-knuckling and eventually fell apart.
What finally shifted things wasn’t willpower.
It was understanding.
Learning how alcohol actually affects the brain and nervous system changed the way I felt about drinking, not just what I tried to do about it.
That difference matters.
After decades working in structured, high-responsibility environments including the Australian Defence Force, private sector IT, and public service I retrained as a coach to support men who want clarity around alcohol without labels, shame or extremes.
I’m a Certified This Naked Mind Coach, with ongoing training in modern behaviour change and Affective Liminal Psychology. But more importantly, I understand the mental space men occupy when they’re quietly questioning alcohol while still functioning well in life.
This work isn’t about quitting.
It’s not about hitting rock bottom.
And it’s not about being told what to do.
It’s about thinking clearly, rebuilding trust in your own judgement, and making decisions from a calmer place.
Some men just need a new framework.
Others value having a steady, private space to think things through with support.
If you’re curious, you’re welcome to explore that at your own pace.
statement of integrity
As your Alcohol Freedom Coach, I am dedicated to supporting you on your journey to living a life that you are at peace with in your relationship with alcohol.
My commitment to this path comes from my own personal experiences.
I first stopped drinking in 2007 and stayed alcohol-free until 2016 using willpower alone. It was challenging. After drinking again for a period, I found a better way in 2021 through the This Naked Mind methodology.
This approach helped me change my beliefs about alcohol and lose the desire for it completely. Since then, I have been living an alcohol-free life and as your Coach I intend to remain so for life. This is the foundation of my integrity and effectiveness as your coach, I see no advantage or benefit in the partaking of alcohol at all.
I am fully committed to my own alcohol freedom and to helping you achieve yours. My journey shows that freedom from alcohol is possible from where ever you start, at what ever your level of drinking is, it’s never too late and I am here to guide you through it.
Thank you for trusting me as your Coach. Let's work together to change your relationship with alcohol.
Sincerely,
Tony Richardson
Sobertides - Alcohol Freedom Coach
