Alcohol Reduction Coaching in Australia for Men over 40
The decision to stop at two usually gets made well before the first glass. Your thoughts land on that beer after work while you’re tidying the desk before knockoff, on the way to the pub or the moment you walk into the front bar. Somewhere around the end of the second glass, the warning voice going off in your head gets ignored or bargained with, the bargain usually sounds like “Just one more..”.
A lot of men over 40 know that moment and others like it, all too well. It’s often what sends them looking for alcohol reduction coaching in Australia, because they’d like to drink less. They haven’t yet worked out whether that means fewer drinks each week, a month tee-total or something longer. This guide sets out the kinds of support available, from coaching and online courses to peer groups, counselling, medical care and rehabilitation, so you can see where your own experience and questions fit before you decide anything.
Drinking Less
Drinking less is where most men begin. It usually means keeping alcohol in your life and changing how much of it there is. That sounds simple enough until you’ve set the same limit a few times and watched it dissolve somewhere around the third drink. The limits tend to make sense on paper and in your head. I often hear that men just want to drink normally, without the mental gymnastics. What men often find interesting is what happens once the alcohol is in their system and that’s the ground covered in the moderation cycle blog.
Taking a Break
An alcohol-free break is a stretch of time, often thirty days, when you step away from drinking to see what you notice and how you feel. Plenty only shows up once alcohol is out of the picture, like how often you reached for a drink out of habit, how your evenings feel, what happens to your sleep and your mornings. A break gives you information that you can act on or leave, your choice.
Stopping Completely
Stopping completely means deciding that alcohol won’t be part of your life going forward. Now, forever is a big thing to hold in your mind, and many men find it’s just too far to get their head around, which is one reason thirty days is such a common starting point. Some men arrive at stopping directly, often because of how much their drinking is affecting their lives, while others feeling the same effects get there by a longer road. I started out wanting to control my drinking and, in the end, I decided that controlling it wasn’t worth the effort.
Six kinds of support, and where each one fits
Coaching
Coaching is a series of private conversations with someone trained to help you understand your own drinking and what keeps it in place. It tends to suit men who are physically well, who want to drink less or work out what they want, and who’d like personal support rather than a set program. Coaching sits alongside medical care and counselling and doesn’t replace either, and a good coach will say so.
Self-paced online course
A self-paced online course is structured learning you work through privately, in your own time. It suits men who like to understand things for themselves, who’d rather not talk to anyone yet, or who want a place to begin before deciding on further support. These courses generally cover what alcohol does to the body and mind, and they bring awareness to the beliefs about alcohol that keep people drinking. Building that knowledge and awareness makes it easier to choose well around alcohol.
Peer programmes
Peer programmes bring together people with their own experience of drinking, in person or online, to share what has and hasn’t worked. Alcoholics Anonymous and SMART Recovery both run meetings around Australia and they differ in approach, so some men try more than one. They suit men who value company and ongoing connection, and most cost little or nothing. Many are built around stopping, so a man who wants to drink less may find the fit varies.
Counselling
Counselling is a series of sessions with a qualified counsellor or psychologist who can work with the thoughts, history and circumstances connected to your drinking. It suits men dealing with anxiety, depression, grief, trauma or relationship strain alongside their drinking. Costs vary, and a GP can tell you what rebates might apply.
Medical care
Medical care means working with a GP, and sometimes an addiction medicine specialist such as Clean Slate Clinic, on the physical side of drinking. That includes assessing your health, medically supervising withdrawal when stopping on your own carries risk, and discussing medications that can support a change. It suits any man who drinks heavily, has had withdrawal symptoms or has health concerns, and a GP visit is a sensible first step for anyone unsure.
Rehabilitation
Rehabilitation is structured treatment, either live-in or as a day program, and it tends to suit men whose drinking has become physically risky or who need supervision and care while they stop. Many facilities offer medically supported detox and the chance to share your story with others who understand. How much time goes into the reasons underneath the drinking differs from one facility to the next, so it’s worth asking what a program covers before you choose one. Some men go through rehab and then look for a place to sort out what they want to do next, and coaching can serve that purpose alongside or after a program.
When to see a doctor first
Plenty of men can start looking at their drinking without any medical help. For some, a conversation with a doctor needs to come first. If you drink heavily most days, if you’ve felt shaky, sweaty, anxious or unable to sleep when a drink wears off, or if you’ve ever had a seizure or seen or heard things that weren’t there while cutting back, your body may have become used to having alcohol around. In that situation, stopping suddenly can bring on withdrawal that turns serious, and it can happen quickly. A GP can look at where you stand and, if needed, arrange a supervised way to reduce or stop safely. If you ever have a seizure, become confused, or see things that aren’t there, call 000.
If none of that sounds like you, this part isn’t about you and you can read on. A GP visit is still a sensible step if you take regular medication, have any health concerns, or simply aren’t sure, and you don’t need to have decided anything about your drinking to have that conversation. Coaching sits outside medical care, so please speak with your doctor before you reduce or stop if you have any concern about your health.
If you’d like to talk to someone before you see anyone, the National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline is free and confidential and it connects you with the support service for your state or territory in Australia.
You can call on 1800 250 015, any time of day or night, though services in South Australia operate between 8.30am and 10.00pm.
It’s there for men with questions about their own drinking and for people worried about someone else’s.
Where SoberTides fits
SoberTides is my own practice, and I work with men over 40 who want to change their relationship with alcohol, whether that means drinking less, stopping or still working out what they want. I’m a certified This Naked Mind coach, and the work begins with understanding what’s going on with your drinking and what keeps it in place.
There are three ways to work together. The SoberTides Academy offers self paced courses on how alcohol affects the brain and body and how drinking habits develop. The 30 Day Breakaway Alcohol Experiment is a guided month to see what you learn, and one to one coaching is available online across Australia and internationally and can run alongside either.
You can read about each one on the quit drinking programs page.
Questions men ask about alcohol reduction coaching
Is there coaching in Australia for a man who wants to drink less without quitting?
Yes. I coach men over 40 online throughout Australia, and plenty of them begin by wanting to drink less and have no plan to stop. We start with understanding what keeps your drinking in place, and the direction you take comes out of that. Some men stay with drinking less, some take a break and some decide to stop, and any of those is a reasonable place to land.
How is coaching different from counselling?
Counselling is led by a qualified counsellor or psychologist and can work with the history, thoughts and mental health conditions that sit behind a person’s drinking. Coaching works with the present. We look at your patterns, the beliefs that keep drawing you back to a drink and what you’d like to be different. I’m a coach and not a counsellor or a doctor, so if anxiety, depression or trauma is part of the picture, a counsellor may be the right place to start, and some men work with both at the same time.
Is drinking less realistic for everyone?
For many men it is, and for some it turns out to be harder than they expected, which is often worth looking into rather than pushing through. Men who’ve developed a physical dependence on alcohol should speak with a doctor before changing anything, and cutting back may not be the right path for them. For everyone else, it helps to understand why the limits dissolve before you decide how to respond to that.
How long does it take?
The timeline depends on what you choose to do and how quickly you move through it. An online course might take you a few weeks. A coaching package with SoberTides currently runs over eight weeks and focuses on building understanding and working on your mindset, and coaching and online learning can run at the same time. A thirty day break after the coaching and learning will show you a good deal about your habits, and understanding usually keeps building for weeks or months afterwards. From the start of coaching to the end of the break, that’s roughly twelve to fourteen weeks. Some of it only makes sense looking back from a bit of distance, so it’s common to find that what felt unclear in the beginning and middle comes into focus later.
Can I do this privately?
Yes. The Academy courses can be worked through on your own, and coaching sessions are a one to one conversation, usually over Zoom. You decide who knows about it.
What if my question isn't here?
If your question isn’t here, the frequently asked questions page covers more, including whether you need to stop drinking to work with me, that's a no and whether coaching requires buying a course, which it doesn’t.
Where to go from here.
You don’t need to have decided anything to start looking at your drinking. Some men begin by reading, some by talking to their doctor, and some by trying a month without. If you’d like to talk it through with me, the services page shows how to get in touch, and the quit drinking programs page describes each way of working together in more detail.